


Raakh

by sour_rose61



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020) RPF
Genre: F/M, I need sleep, I should be doing homework, Karman has taken over my life, M/M, this is basically emotional torture, this writing is shit please dont kill me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sour_rose61/pseuds/sour_rose61
Summary: If the movie had an alternative ending i guess.
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 53
Kudos: 74





	1. Unconscious

**Author's Note:**

> Begins from the homophobia scene. :)

Aman finally rips himself out of Chaman and Keshav's death grips and starts to sprint to Karthik, his heart sinking deeper with every scream of pain that leaves the taller boy's lips. His heart racing as his father bends down to pick up the large stick. No. His eyes were fixated on his Karthik, but before he could reach the open,comforting arms of his lover Shankar Tripathi’s weapon had struck the back of his head.The last thing he hears before slipping out of consciousness are the stick dropping, shocked gasps and Karthik screaming his name. 

Karthik collapses next to Aman's unconscious body and gently lifts him up, ignoring the own pain that seared through his body. Aman was bleeding, Kathik laid Aman on a cot & Goggle rushed to his side. The only thing that could be heard in the Tripathi angan (courtyard) were soft sobs and whispering cries for help from the shirtless boy who now looked completely torn.


	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wakes up.

It had been two hours, and eerie quietness echoed through the house. Chacha had called a doctor who said that Aman would be alright and the injury was not serious. Shankar was still frozen at his position except now he was on his knees, his face still wearing that horrified expression. Karthik had not moved from Aman’s side since he laid him down, which was inconvenient for the doctor. His mind was racing through the worst possible scenarios, his eyes could’ve been mistaken for waterfalls. He would not believe that his man was okay until he saw him get up with his own two eyes and tell him that he was fine. Goggle wrapped a red jumper around him as he shivered uncontrollably from crying and the cold. Karthik let out the breath he didn’t even realise he was holding as Aman’s eyelids had fluttered open and the smaller boy let out a groan. Goggle, Kusum and Keshav ran towards the now hugging couple and engulfed them into a group hug while Aman muttered something about all of them being crazy and not being able to breathe. As they pulled away and the finally conscious boy could examine the room he found the four adults staring at him and the memories of right before his dramatic fall came back to him and anger surged through his veins which soon melted away when the taller bruised boy placed a tender kiss on his forehead.  
“I’m sorry Karthik, I’m sorry that this happened because I -”  
“Shut up idiot, I love you” tears formed in both their eyes and for a few moments they forgot about the eight pairs of eyes on them. Their foreheads touched and small smiles settled on their lips.  
“I love you too” after a long pause he adds “take me home please, our home”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading. Please leave honest feedback and tell me what y'all wanna see in the next chapter. :))


	3. Goodbye Chachi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aman and Champa bond.

Somehow Kartik had convinced Aman to stay the night, arguing that he was unfit to travel and the last thing Aman wanted to do was worry Kartik. The adults were ignored by all three Tripathi children Karthik & Kusum too nevertheless they continually attempted to approach any one of them. Kartik was still asleep on the cot outside when Aman had been packing his and Kartik’s bags when he heard a soft voice at the door.  
“Aman? Abhi tak soye nahi beta? (You haven’t slept yet son?)” his chachi’s voice was unusually soft and calm.  
“Nahi Chachi, neend nahi aa rahi thi (No Chachi (aunty) I couldn’t sleep” Aman replied.   
He just could not stay mad at Champa, he remembers the one time he showed Kartik a picture of his chachi and he agreed with the statement that she looked ‘too cute to be mad at’.   
He nodded his head to let her know she was welcome inside. She sighed lightly as she sat on the edge of his bed. Champa always had a soft spot for all three of the children so it killed her internally when they ignored her attempts to approach them, she had grown a liking towards Kartik too but obviously had to keep it hidden so as to not enrage her brother in law.   
She was the one that was constantly around the children as they were growing up, with Sunaina constantly in the kitchen cooking, Shankar on the terrace doing God knows what and her husband Chaman following his brother around like a lost puppy. She saw how protective the three Tripathi siblings were of each other, she treated each one as if they were her own. She listened to Aman go on and on about some new concept he learned in his biology class, she would sit with the boys and watch Rajini recite some poetry in a dramatic manner fit for black and white movies and she watched Keshav dismantle any piece of technology around him.   
Despite being so close to the boy she doesn’t remember actually seeing Aman cry after the age of 13 and seeing him in this much pain tore her into pieces.   
As the sun rose the pair found themselves on the terrace of the house.   
“Kartik acha ladka hai, woh toh tumhe khush rakhta hain na? (Kartik is a nice guy, does he keep you happy?)”  
Aman is a little taken back by her statement, surprised by her liking him.  
“Bohot. Jab main uske saath nahin hota to mujhe yah ajeeb see ghabaraahat  
hotee hai. (Very. When I’m not with him I get this strange nervousness)” his voice trembled slightly.  
“Papa ko manane ke phir se koshish karo. (Try again to convince your dad)”  
“Koi faida nahi hai chachi, phir se dhanda uthayenge aur Kartik ko phir se mere waje se chot lagega, (There is no use aunty, he’ll pick up the stick again and Kartik will get hurt because of me, again.)” tears formed in his eyes.  
“Call karna (do call)” with that she left tears dropping from her own eyes praying this would not be the final goodbye.  
Aman wiped away the fresh set of tears in his eyes and made his way to the cot downstairs wanting to leave before anyone else woke up. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw Kartik sleeping, he looked like an angel and the golden rays of light hitting his face added to his angelic look. He looked at the sleeping man and his eyes trailed down to the bruises on his barely covered body and a pang of guilt hit him, he hurt his Kartik. He silently vowed to himself to keep the boy as happy as he could when they returned to their tiny Delhi apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions for what should happen next (family drama, they leave etc) or should I just go with the flow?


	4. Delhi

The train ride to Delhi was quiet, in an unpleasant way which made Kartik shift in his seat. His head laid on Aman’s shoulder, the train was pretty empty, only the sound of one annoying baby and their silence echoing through the mostly empty compartments. Kartik had really wished it all hadn’t gone down this way, he feels responsible but when he attempted to apologise he was shut down by Aman mumbling something about him being stupid and that he wasn't in the wrong. The wind brushed through their hair as their eyes were fixed on the passing sites, an eerie tension set between them, both boys feeling guilty, one about being the reason the love of his life got hurt and one for pushing the other and having him possibly lose his family. Kartik winced as pain surged through his body.  
“Are you okay?” Kartik just nodded in response. “Remind me to bring some ointments for that”  
Aman wrapped his arm around Kartik’s shoulders very carefully ensuring to not hurt him and brought his head slowly down into his lap. Fingers running through his hair ever so gently, calming the taller boy into a deep slumber and mumbling sweet nothings into his ear.

When they reached Delhi it was midday, and both boys silently headed to their bedroom wanting to rest after the past few days had exhausted them. It was Kartik’s turn to comfort Aman, he placed a hand on Aman's back rubbing small circles and pressing kisses into his shoulder as Aman refused to face Kartik. A few silent tears rolled down Aman’s cheeks, he was starting to wonder whether he was as strong as he thought. Kartik woke up to a slight stinging on his back, Aman’s fingertips rubbing ointment onto the ugly bruises that had formed over the top of his old ones, courtesy of his father. Aman’s sad smile made the pain worse and the apologies his eyes were writing were not much help either, he sat up to face the shorter man. Kartik could only shake his head and press a soft kiss into the side of his wrist. 

Meanwhile in the Tripathi household the silence was deafening. The boys had left the household very quietly but no one was surprised to not find either in the house, although Rajni had hoped they would stay and try again. Keshav had attempted to contact both boys through various social media platforms but received nothing in response, his worries wouldn’t fade till he got a response but he also knew that it wouldn’t happen soon still his efforts refused to wither. The adults of the house remained silent as their children continued to ignore them and took their punishment as deserved. Sunaina was upset and angry, Champa wished she could’ve done more, Chaman wanted to express his support for the young couple but unsure of how to go about it and Shankar was conflicted, the inability to understand the two boys and guilt for allowing them to leave so abruptly was finally catching up to him.

Days passed, Aman’s phone rang at least twice a day, but too afraid to pick it up. His fingers trembled over the buttons. Kartik was getting sick of hearing the phone ring and Aman constantly being on his ass about medication for the almost faded bruises then brushing him aside when he attempted to ask about his wounds.  
“Why won’t you pick up?” his question was expected.  
“I can’t” the response frustrated Kartik but he knew not to drag it further, the tremble and uncertainty in Aman’s voice upset him. He snuck up behind Aman and started to tickle him, in hopes of seeing that beautiful smile that he fell in love with and missed dearly. He sprinkled kisses into the nape of his neck and without warning carried the smaller boy into the bedroom, hoping to make him forget his troubles for a night, enjoy the warm breeze of the night and pleasure him to a point of ecstasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it has been a while. :) Sorry


	5. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a lazy day off.

Aman sat on the small balcony chair, his knees curled up to his chest and a lit cigarette dancing in between his fingertips as he thought deeply about everything and nothing all at once, completely unaware of his lover's presence leaning against the door frame. Kartik hated it when Aman smoked and Aman knew that. Kartik snuck up behind him and wrapped the smaller man into an embrace, Aman immediately stubbed out the cigarette and relaxed into the hug, softly humming when Kartik nuzzled into his neck, tickling him with his soft hair.   
“Hi” Aman’s morning voice was groggy and a little deeper than usual. Kartik kissed his cheek.  
“Come inside, let’s make breakfast. I’m hungry,” Kartik pulled the giggling Aman out of his seat and into the apartment.   
Aman made eggs and tea as Kartik danced around him pretending to be busy while rambling on about how he had no clothes and some shop was having the best sale ever. Aman just shook his head at his antics and went back out to watch the sky and talk as they ate breakfast.  
“Come on, let’s get dressed. Kaam par bhi jana hai na warna late ho jayenge,” (Come on let’s get dressed. We have to get to work, otherwise we’ll be late) Aman stretched as he made his way inside, Kartik frowned and grabbed onto the shorter man’s shirt. He whined, pulling Aman back and into his lap.  
“Kartik.” Aman’s tone was serious, almost like a parent warning their child but he sported a wide grin on his face. He ripped himself out of Kartik’s grip but Kartik managed to latch onto his arm.  
“Abhi na jao chhod kar, ke dil abhi bhara nahi,” (Do not go and leave me now, for my heart is not yet filled) Kartik began to sing and got out of his chair, wrapping his arms around Aman. Aman instinctively melted into his arms, a smile creeping onto his face as Kartik’s sweet voice washed away all his woes and worries. He tugged Aman into the lounge room and snaked his arms around his waist, Aman’s curled around his neck. They swayed softly around the small room as Kartik continued to sing.

“Abhi abhi to aayi ho, abhi abhi to  
 _You've come just now_

Abhi abhi to aayi ho, bahaar ban ke chaayi ho  
 _Like Spring, you've just come_

Hawa zara mahek to le, nazar zara bahek to le  
 _Let the fragrance spread in the air, let my eyes feel captivated by you_

Yeh shaam dhal to le zara, yeh dil sambhal to le zara  
 _Let the night come, let me control my feelings_

Main thodi der jee to loon, nashe ke ghoont pee to loon  
 _Let me live for a while, let me drink the drops of intoxication_

Abhi to kuch kaha nahi, abhi to kuch suna nahi  
 _I haven’t yet said anything, I haven’t heard anything yet_

Abhi na jaao chhod kar, ke dil abhi bhara nahi  
 _Please don't leave me and go, my heart is still not content_ ” 

Kartik stopped, he leaned down to press a soft kiss on a blushing Aman’s forehead.

“Tum pagal ho, ab taiyar ho jao. Go!” (You’re crazy, now go get dressed. Go!) Aman lightly pushed Kartik away from him. Kartik fell onto the sofa and whined, stomping his feet like a toddler. Aman felt restless and tired so he gave in, rolling his eyes and shaking his head he muttered a small fine and plopped down onto the sofa next to his now very excited boyfriend. He pulled Aman into a hug, his chest pressed against the smaller man’s back and a fluffy blanket wrapped around the both of them.   
“Movie?”   
“Mughal e azam, obviously” Kartik’s matter-of-fact tone made Aman chuckle.  
They sat wrapped up on the sofa the whole day, ordering take out and bickering about which movie to watch next. To Kartik, this may have just been another lazy day but to Aman it was so much more. It was a break from all the emotional turmoil and concerning thoughts that have been occurring since the day he and Kartik stepped foot in Allahabad. Aman didn’t realise how much he needed this day, he didn’t even realise that he’d slowly started to distance himself from the one person who truly understood him. They fell asleep on the sofa, this time it was Aman singing Kartik to sleep as he ran his fingers through his hair and stared lovingly at the man who brought light into his dark and lonely world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this!   
> Reminder: Use a mask, hand sanitiser and wash your hands regularly! Okay, ly cuties :)


	6. Allahabad?

Aman’s eyes shot open, drops of sweat dripped down his temples as he attempted to recover from a bad dream. A nightmare. His heart was beating out of his chest as the frighteningly realistic vision kept replaying in his mind. His body pacified itself as his eyes laid on the man sound asleep next to him, a sigh of relief slipped through Aman’s lips as he Kartik groaned and flung his arm over the tensed man, trapping him between himself and the bed. Aman softened into the touch and closed his eyes, yet he never let sleep overcome him and he quietly watched on as the first rays of light hit his lover’s face through the windows of their room. 

“Creep” Kartik muttered as his eyes fluttered open. Aman rolled his eyes and attempted to roll out of bed but was pulled back down and very aggressively cuddled back into the sheets. 

“Let me go” he tried to wiggle out of Kartik's grip which only seemed to tighten the more he moved.

“No. Stay '' Kartik nuzzled his nose into the crook of Aman’s neck. Aman struggled against his grip.

“Kartik, if we don’t go on time today we’ll be fired,” he says finally managing to rip himself free of the man latched onto him.

“It’s a stupid job” Kartik grumbled and yawned, sitting up. Aman chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“But it pays the bills,” Aman added. Kartik’s complaints did not cease as he forced himself out of bed. He grumbled the whole ride to their work, all Aman did was smile and agree.

“We should quit,” Kartik suggested as the bike halts.

“Seriously?” Aman turned his head. Kartik nodded. “Okay”

“I got a call today,” Karthik started, excitement evident in his voice as he entered their apartment, locking the door behind him.

“You get calls every day, half of Delhi is in your inner circle. Who was it?” Aman stated as he entered the small kitchen. 

“Guess” Kartik hopped onto the countertop, earning a glare from his boyfriend. 

“Devika?” 

“Nope”

“Ravi?” Kartik shook his head.

“Priyanka? Shaheen? The boy with the blue hair?”

“No, no and no. It was Goggle!” Kartik smiled goofily as he revealed who had called him.

“Google? Like Rajini Goggle?” Aman asked, turning towards Kartik, hands slightly gripping the corner of the marble countertop.

“Mhmm, she’s getting married! She wanted to tell you herself but you weren’t picking up so she told me to tell you. I can’t believe it! I’m so happy for her!” Kartik exclaimed, almost jumping while buzzing with excitement.

“I am too,” Aman agreed, impassively. “But sadly we won’t be attending, now get your stinky feet off my counter please.” He swatted Kartik’s knee.

“Okay, first of all, my feet aren’t stinky, second this is our counter, I cook, occasionally and why aren’t we going?” Kartik asked, hopping off the counter. Aman sighed sadly.

“We can’t go back Kartik, you know why,” Aman says, evidently wanting to move on from this topic. 

“Aman, Goggle is damn excited to see us and she’s your sister for god’s sake! Baby, they want us to come, trust me” Kartik tried his hardest to convince Aman from listing reasons to showing pictures of celebrity weddings as references to the amount of fun they would have, Kartik tried everything but Aman just wouldn’t listen.

“Kartik I’m not going back! Please let’s not argue about this right now,” he huffed in annoyance.

“Give me one good reason why we can’t go!” Kartik was slightly irritated at this point.

“You want me to give you a rerun of what happened last time? How about we go there so my father can finish the thrashing he started?” Aman asked sarcastically.

“Your family wants to mend things Aman, don’t you think we should let them?” Kartik’s voice softened as he dropped his head onto his lover’s shoulder. Aman turned around to face him.

“No. I don’t think we should,” he replies, voice stern.

“Come on bro, she’s your sister!”

“I know Kartik,” he pushes past him and continues. “We shouldn’t have gone the first time, we are not going again. End of conversation.” It was Kartik’s turn to huff, he pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply before talking again.

“Why are you being so goddamn stubborn?” Kartik asked, arms crossed and voice raised slightly. Aman scoffed and shook his head, tired of his boyfriend’s ridiculous questioning. 

“Why are you yelling?” Aman shot back in the same stern tone.

“I’m not yelling!” he shouts back. Aman rolls his eyes.

“Fine you can go, but this time I won’t be there to protect you,” Aman flops onto the couch angrily.

“You? Protect me?” Kartik scoffs. “Oh please, you stood there and watched me get beat up by your homophobic father for the first half-hour!”

“I told you we shouldn’t have gone in the first place! I tried to stop him! I tried to stop you!” Aman’s voice broke. His dreams from the night before played like a movie in his head yet felt more real than before. Kartik just shook his head and leaned against the wall, he’d suddenly forgotten how all of this had even started but his head felt hot and he needed water. Aman stood up from the couch and walked towards the front door, stopping to grab a set of keys, he opened the door.

“You know, out of all people I thought you would understand why I don’t want to go,” he whispered sadly before stepping out. Kartik let his head drop as he heard the door slam shut.

He dragged his feet and plopped down onto the sofa bringing his knees to his chest as tears fell off his jaw and rolled onto the scratchy fabric of his work pants.

Meanwhile, Aman leaned against his bike next to the tea stall two streets away from his house. He sighed as he held the piping hot tea and twirled the unlit cigarette between his fingers. He debates whether he should light it or not, knowing Kartik would smell it on him the second he walked through the door he chucks it away. The cup of chai now sat on the bike, ignored as the man who ordered it stares off into the distance, his empty thoughts drowning out the late-night silence around him. 

His eyes flutter as the shutter to a nearby shop slam into the ground bringing him out of himself. Panic ensues within him as he realises he doesn’t have his phone and it’s scarily dark out. A few drunken creeps were lurking around the closed shops too. The neglected cup of chai shattered to the ground, splattering the disgustingly sweet drink as he took off on the bike.

He opens the front door to find Kartik curled up and soundly asleep on the couch, soft snores escaping his lips. Aman slowly steps towards the sleeping man and attempts to curl Kartik’s arms around his neck so he could carry him into their room. Kartik groans and his eyes flutter open as Aman tries to maneuver his legs into his arms. Kartik pulls his arms and legs away and makes his own way into the room, leaving a conflicted Aman bent ever so slightly over the couch. He could only drop his head and follow the taller man into their room. Kartik was already changed and in bed pretending to be asleep. Aman slowly made his way around the room to the small cupboard and took out his lover’s comforting sky blue hoodie deciding he wanted to sleep in it. He settled down near Kartik’s feet, poking at his ankles and frowning when Kartik pulled his legs closer to himself. Aman crawled up the bed and laid down with his arm around Kartik. 

“I’m sorry. Gusse mein tha, I-” (I’m sorry. I was angry-) Aman started only to be interrupted.

“I'm sorry too,” Kartik sighed, not moving from his position, where his back was facing Aman. “Don’t ever disappear like that, I was very worried. Ab so jao, kal sort out karlenge. I can tell that you’re exhausted.” (Don’t disappear like that ever again, I was very worried. Go to sleep now, we can sort it out tomorrow. I can tell that you’re exhausted.) Kartik pulled the sheets closer to his body and Aman smiled sadly as sleep took over him. Aman retreated his arm as silent tears lulled him to sleep. They fell asleep knowing nothing had really been fixed but with the hope that they’d figure this out like they always do. The ambience was less angry now and more melancholic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how people fight.  
> Also, I'm not dead so how cool is that?  
> Hope you liked it! Please feel free to leave constructive criticism and any suggestions or anything like that :)  
> Hope y'all are being safe and taking care of yourselves!


	7. Kiss & Make Up

Kartik frowned as he walked towards their little stall in the mall. Aman was nowhere in sight.  
“Aman kahaan hai?” (Where is Aman?) he asked one of the bure kitano he had to fight. They were yet to quit their jobs deciding, one had better find another before they quit.  
“He went home, he said he was feeling ill,” the oddly dressed man replied. Kartik sighed, worriedly he pulled out his phone and shot Aman a text. The rest of the working day was a blur, Kartik’s mind was stuck on Aman and his eyes kept glancing at his phone hoping for a text from the shorter man but he received nothing. 

It had been two days since the fight and two days since the usually happy couple had talked to each other properly. Aman had left for work before Kartik had woken up, leaving him alone and confused in their tiny apartment which felt too big for him alone. 

Kartik had seen many losses in his life, his mother, father, if he could even be called that and friends that didn’t support him and lovers that were set on the notion that they had to make their parents proud and being with another man was nothing but a disappointment and a sin but Kartik was not ready to add Aman to that list, he would never be. He took a deep breath as he grabbed the door handle to their house.  
‘I am going in there and I am going to talk to Aman. We’ll figure this out and work through it like we’ve done before. Everything will be okay,’ he mentally prepared himself and walked in, standing upright. He was met with the strong aroma of spices mixing, making his mouth water. His eyes landed on the couch and Kartik instantly melted, Aman was wrapped up in his mustard hoodie and a soft red blanket and was fast asleep on the couch. Kartik’s smile slowly disappeared as he neared the couch, Aman was shivering and whimpering, his face was scrunched up and his body made small jerky movements, it looked like he was in pain.   
Kartik crouched down and instantly started an attempt to soothe him, caressing his hair and cheek softly. 

“Aman? Aman it’s only a dream, shhh. It’s alright. Sab theek hai,” (Aman? Aman it’s only a dream, shhh. It’s alright. Everything’s fine) Kartik whispered, close to his lover’s ear.   
Aman woke with a soft gasp and before he could control it his eyes were moist and tears dripped onto his cheek. Kartik’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach, Aman was going through something and he didn’t even notice. He wasn’t sure how he could be so unobservant.

Kartik wiped away a tear with his thumb bringing Aman’s attention onto him. Aman blinked blankly at him.  
“Aman?” Kartik’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Tu theek hai na?” (You okay?)  
Aman lunged forward and buried his face into the crook of Kartik’s neck, arms flying to wrap around his shoulders. Kartik’s worry heightened. Aman pulled away after a few minutes, chuckling half heartedly.   
“I’m so stupid” he muttered, wiping his face with the sleeves of his sweater.  
“No baby. No you’re not. Talk to me, tell what’s wrong,” Kartik shook his head, then moved to lean Aman’s head onto his chest and rub circles onto the crying man’s back.  
“Don’t worry, bas ek bura sapna tha. I’m okay,” (Don’t worry, it was just a bad dream. I’m okay) Aman sighed.  
Kartik rolled his eyes, grateful that Aman was still pressed onto his chest and unable to see his expressions.   
“Aman, I get bad dreams too but I’ve never cried after getting them so tell me, what's really bothering you?” Kartik urged. Aman shuffled deeper into Kartik’s chest, pulling the blanket up his shrunken frame, allowing Kartik’s heartbeat to calm him. 

Kartik waited for Aman, he always would. He kept his arms firmly yet lovingly wrapped around the man adorned in mustard. Aman chuckled within himself as he contrasted the past two days with this very moment, the awkward mumbling and inactively ignoring the other had led to this very moment of comfort, love and warmth.

“Papa ke marne ke baad tum um” (After Papa hits you um,) Aman started, struggling to find the words “tum mujhe chod kar chale jaa the ho, kabhi khabi wapas Delhi aa ja the ho ya phir Papa tumhe itna marte hain ke tum” (you leave me, sometimes you come back to Delhi or Papa hits you so much that) he struggled and shook the thought out of his head, unable to form any words from the pure fear he felt of losing the one man he’s loved.  
“Aur mujhe Kusum ke saath shaadi karni padthi hain” (And I would’ve had to marry Kusum) he ended, Kartik hummed in response and kissed tufts of Aman’s hair. 

“Aman, jo bhi haan tum aur Sameera” (Aman whatever happens you and Sameera-)  
“Kusum”  
Haan haan, Kusum,” Kartik continued “tum Kusum se shaadi nahi karoge, chaar zindagi barbaad ho jayege. Aur baat hamari ho rahi hai toh I don’t know what the future holds but without you it won’t be as beautiful” (Yeah, yeah, Kusum, you will not marry Kusum, four lives will be destroyed if you do. And if we are talking about us then I don’t know what the future holds but without you it won’t be as beautiful)  
Aman shifted slightly in his position. “Uff kya filmy ho tum” he chuckled, though it was a watery chuckle, to Kartik it was music to the ears. (Uff you’re so cheesy)  
“I was trying to comfort you!” Kartik defended playfully. The chuckles faded out and Aman tilted his head upwards, locking eyes with Kartik. 

He felt a familiar sense of tranquility in those eyes, something so familiar yet so rare to find. Aman had long decided that this was home, Kartik’s arms, his eyes and the love that floated soundlessly around them, not a single word yet very present. It was in that moment a silent promise was made, a promise that they would never have this ominous silence between them again, a promise that no one shall be blamed for the Allahabad incident and finally, a promise that no matter what one will always be there to bring the other home in times like this. Kartik bought his hand up and grazed his knuckles over Aman’s tear stained cheek, he wanted to kiss him but he also didn’t want this moment to end. Aman was only ever this vulnerable around Kartik, no barriers, no acting with Kartik he was just himself. For Kartik time had seemed to slow down around Aman, a comforting sense of serenity and peace, that little glisten in his eyes was capable of making Kartik’s heart flutter and butterflies dance in his stomach, not the nervous kind, the kind were you don’t want the butterflies to stop and everything feels somewhat right, like something in the world had shifted and everything was perfectly in place. 

Without breaking eye contact, they pressed their foreheads against one another, indulging themselves in the way the other’s soft breaths brushed against their skin and reveled in this moment of pure affection. A moment so rare that the universe around them disappeared completely, any efforts were taken to make this moment last as long as possible. 

Out of the blue Aman’s face scrunched up in disgust, Kartik was confused. The words Aman uttered next completely ruined the moment.   
“Do you smell that?” Aman asked. Kartik regained his senses and the foul smell hit him.  
“It smells like something is burning,” Kartik commented and as the words left his mouth it seemed like Aman had an epiphany, a great realisation of his own forgetfulness. He jumped out of his lovers arms and hurriedly made his way into the kitchen. Kartik followed at the same pace, repeatedly asking him what had occurred. His questions were answered as he walked into the kitchen and broke into a coughing fit as he watched a mortified Aman shift a pot from the stovetop to the sink, coughing and swatting away the smoke in the air as he did so. 

“I burnt the rajma,” Aman uttered, turning around from the sink with the cutest sad pout on his face and arms crossed childishly. Kartik cooed at how cute Aman looked.   
“It’s okay baby, Swiggy se order karle kuch?” (It’s okay baby, should we order something from swiggy?) Kartik suggested, already opening up the app on his phone.

“Pizza?” Kartik asked. Aman just nodded enthusiastically and soon enough they were once again curled up on the sofa, a slice of pizza and some beer in their hands watching some old Amitabh Bhachchan movie for the millionth time, singing along to the songs like they were the characters themselves. Kartik was disappointed that their moment earlier had been ruined by some fucking rajma but this was just as priceless too and he was sure those moments would often come and go in their future together. 

As the movie ended a sleepy Aman leaned up and pressed a small, surprising kiss to Kartik’s lips, Kartik just smiled and pulled Aman closer.   
“I’ll call Allahabad tomorrow,” Aman revealed, earning a small hum of appreciation from his boyfriend, who had noticed that Aman had said Allahbhad and not referred to it as home. He brushed it off, too sleepy to even form a proper sentence let alone have a heart to heart conversation, though he did keep it in mind hoping some time soon that Allahabad would turn back into home, after all one can have more than one home. And with that they both fell asleep on the couch as the credits of the movie continued to roll, and slurred goodnights were exchanged, this probably the most restful sleep either had gotten since that dreadful trip to Allahabad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been a minute. :)


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